It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
