It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
