me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
