we have officially lost it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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