god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
