Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
