My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
