So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
