I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
