He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
