i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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