maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
