well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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