So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
