kristin has been a bad kristin
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
