in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When did angry sex become our thing?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
