I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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