Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
