I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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