Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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