Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
