i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
