i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
