WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm too high and old for this...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
