Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can I color on your dick again?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
