I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Randomize
