i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cockslap morals
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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