just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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