I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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