Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
