I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
