This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
