the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
