I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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