hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
