I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
