I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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