Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
