i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
