I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
