I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
