Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
