i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Alive.
So much puke
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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