She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
