I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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