I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
