They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
