so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
