So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
