You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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