I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
