soooo we both peed the bed last night...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
