Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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