garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you like me you must not know who I am
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
